The Questions and Confessions

What am I to do?
Why am I to even fall for you?
Who am I to chose between best friend and love?
How am to face both of you?
When am I to tell you how I really feel?
Where am I to tell you this horrible truth?

I really want to tell you how I feel..
I really want to let you see me.
No matter how hard I try to catch your attention.
You will never notice..

I cried today..
I was right beside her, crying.
We were both crying. But you could only see her.
You didn't even bother to look at me..

It hurts.. It hurts so much..

Even though the both of you had already broke up..
I know, you still have feelings for each other..
You changed, just for her.
Is she really that important that you wouldn't even bother to look at me?
To look at me, just as a friend?

As a friend.

I'm just a decoration.
A person just to make the scene look more 'competitive'.
To make you look more like a girls' guy.
I don't even mean anything.
You just care for her, and only her.

I'm nothing.

I'm selfish, you say?
You say that I should just wish for his happiness.
If he's happy then I should be happy too.
Yeah, maybe you're right.
Maybe I should.
But I love you so much..

I love you so much that it hurts.

-XiAorUi--

My True Home

I love to Sing.
I love Music.
Music is my everything.

If you asked me to arrange these few things that I love-Friends, Family, Music, Hobbies, The One I Love: (most to least)

Music, Family, Friends, The One I Love, Hobbies

Music will always be the first no matter what.
I could lose everything and everyone that I love, but I could never lose Music.

Music is my Soul.

You could find Cd's numbering up to a hundred copies in my house.

The songs that I know numbers up to a thousand.

Turn on the Radio, and I can sing the song broadcast right on the spot.

Give me a piano score, and I will master it on the day.

Let me sing, and I will sing till the last day of my life.

Lock me up in a haunted house, I will still sing and dance to the music in my heart.

My mind itself is a jukebox, turn it on, and you will hear a never ending trail of songs and melodies.

My home is in Kajang, Malaysia.
But my true home is Music itself.

Where is it?
It's right here inside my Heart. Deep inside my Heart. Forever, inside Me.

-XiAorUi--

A Cold Performance

I went for a choir performance yesterday at Malacca for the 歌乐节 in a five-star hotel, I think it's called Pei Fong.. Haha..

Anyway, I went to my choir center at 12 30 pm, left at 1 pm(?), reached at 3 pm(?),
the performance started at 7 pm, and it was our turn to perform at 8pm(?)*.

I was wearing a white long-sleeved shirt and a black skirt while everybody else was wearing a white dress cause I didn't have the dress.. And there was only two people who wore that outfit, me and Jia Xin (alto). I wouldn't say we looked weird, but I would say we were special.（Yeah, right.)

When it was our turn, we were so cold that our teeth were all shaking.. And when I got up the stage and tried to sing, it was so hard! I was shaking while singing. Man, it was tough!
But then when we finished performing and went back to our seats, it wasn't cold anymore! I suppose it's because we were nervous and cold at the same time, and so the temperature went down.. Haha.

So, I had fun after all. It was a very good experience.
And I'm going to perform this Saturday at the 雪隆大会堂 too! (Don't know what it's called in English..)

So, wish me luck! :D